Hey, minna. Yeah, haven't written much lately, I know, I know. There hasn't however been much for me to write about that involves me, and I've been distracted by reading a five part ebook series called "Heaven Sent"...yaoi rock band stories. I'm kinda upset actually that I finished them, which tends to happen whenever I finish a a good/enjoyable book or saga. Yet thankfully, I am not as sad as I normally am; a more acceptable ending perhaps? Or was it that now the various couples had been through their struggles, and had all that steamy sex to boot, there doesn't seem to be much left to tell about them? Sigh.
Which brings me on to another, related topic, one I am still not certain about within myself. Over the past few months, I have come to enjoy reading yaoi (been asked 'Why?' by a handful of people now, and given them the same answer 'More interesting than yuri, and it is easier to relate to male characters seeing as I am a guy myself >.>') and it has had me pondering too. Throughout high school, I was one of those guys whose inner circle were pretty much all girls, so hearing the word 'Gay' said behind my back or as an insult to my face wasn't exactly infrequent. Hell, I got asked prolly at least twice a year (predominantly by the same 'friend' who apparently just wouldn't accept that there are more than just two molds of males: straight/typical or gay/eccentric/unusual. They always went together). It hurt a lot to be labelled as such when I never once displayed any desire or attraction for males, and I am one to adamantly believe that you should get what you deserve. Did I deserve to be assumed to be gay because I didn't like sport and got along talking with girls better than the drop kicks at my school? As far as my memory of my behaviour goes, the answer is no.
Over this past year at uni, I truly think that I have acquired more self-knowledge than in the six years prior combined. Having a lot of time to think to yourself does have an impact. Not hearing people call you something you believe you're not behind your back helps a damn lot too. So, with the capacity to reason things out without having a status dumped on me without my assent, when I began wading into the shallows of the realm of yaoi, I came to the realisation that I do find guys attractive. I find girls attractive too, but it is the former that was the breakthrough in my mentality (seeing as I already knew I like women hehe).
Phe's current opinion: I shouldn't ignore the possibility of finding a loving partner because of their gender.
Heh, it seems that with all the political correctness and equal rights that pervades the modern world, I have arrived at the perfect, politically correct statement, yes? Well, it seems like a particularly amiable view in my eyes, especially seeing as in effect it means I am not limiting myself to one half (ish) of the population :P...maybe there's a chance of true love after all! xD I think I had read in an article somewhere that one should try and avoid all labels, at least until they are about 21/22, when they have enough experience and knowledge to know what(and who =3) they want. I think I rather like that. Oh, and I'll state right here that if I ever change my mind, and that change makes me conclude that men are more attractive, I promise to give Tom-sempai a good seat when I 'come out', so he can amuse himself xP
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I am sure there was something else I planned to talk about... *Think* *Think* *Eats from a jar of Hunny* *Lght bulb appears and then smashes into tiny, rather sharp pieces* Eh, oh well. Mata ne, minna!
Sunday, January 25, 2009
Monday, January 12, 2009
>Insert topic here<
Heh, it's 1AM and I want sleep but don't feel that in my current state of awareness I can succeed at any attempt... So, why not type a blog that has no predetermined theme or issue to help me along to my (usually oh so sweet but hard to remember afterwards) dreams?
Not much has been happening in the life of Phe lately; spent Thursday with Kriz, eating chocolate, reading books that we purchased on a mini splurge (I now own my first proper book on weapons throughout the ages, which whilst occasionally providing info I didn't already know, has some pretty as well as intimidating images *points at the 'Flail with quoits' or 'Cumberjung', making a comment at how it looks like a simple stick with razor sharp hacky sacks attached at either end by rope* ^^), and talking about things and people in general, along with the ever intriguing issue of the nature of an individual. It seems that whenever I have a chat with Kriz I learn a lot more about various people; she's incredibly observant and insightful :3
I dun remember Friday...oh wait, yes I do! Hare sensei, Adele and I met up at uni and got some dance practice done (I now know most of the Caramell Dansen original routine moves. YAY!). Afterwards, heading towards the bus loop, Sensei and I went to building 54 (...64? Gah, I dun be 'membering) and after he filled his bottle, Sensei offered to buy me a drink from the vending machine...was short of the correct change by about forty cents...and by happenstance when I got home that arvo I located 45 cents in my jeans pocket...>.< I hate it when that kind of thing happens! Oh well hehe.
Saturday night, I went with my parents and brother to visit some family friends in Cranbourne...I only went because I am lazy about getting dinner for myself, and I also wanted to see the Dark Knight (we decided afterwards that a new category of award should come into existence "Best Antagonist"...Heath was pretty damn good. You just can't hate a villain as well portrayed as that!). I happen to hate going to that house...they have a disgusting Boxer and a right little bitch of a Jack Russell (sp?) too (Normally okay breeds, but both have the run of the house and have always been flea-ridden...I always feel the need to shower after leaving that place, and wouldn't you know how un-itchy I feel after that relaxing, running water?). You may have just noticed I speak of the latter with marked distaste. This is because the friends we visited have recently acquired a fluffy black kitten (that doesn't scratch me as much as other neko-chans like to...including the one named after me xD. This cute little kitty happens to actually like being next to me hehe) that kept getting stepped on or attacked/harassed by the maniacal Jack Russell, and one of its owners is hardly any better...Thankfully I know that the other one is looking out for the kitten, because whenever she can reach the black ball of fur she whisks it away to safety ^_^.
And today...'today' being yesterday/Sunday... I pretty much did jack all. Pop some lazy gaming, reading, posting, and movie watching into a blender, stick it on the highest speed (the unsafe one xP) and drink the juices and that's pretty much it really... Tomorrow/Monday I plan to read some of the Volsunga Saga (translated o'course. I haven't learned much Icelandic, and certainly not enough to comprehend an entire literary piece) and watch several Strawberry Panic episodes, the latter because I have come to believe that by paying attention to Yaoi, I have accidentally excluded Yuri, and should at least give it a chance... We'll see how that goes, eh?
:O It took me half an hour to write that...kinda disappointed, but at least my eyes are now about one millimetre more closed *crosses fingers and wishes for luck* Night people!
Not much has been happening in the life of Phe lately; spent Thursday with Kriz, eating chocolate, reading books that we purchased on a mini splurge (I now own my first proper book on weapons throughout the ages, which whilst occasionally providing info I didn't already know, has some pretty as well as intimidating images *points at the 'Flail with quoits' or 'Cumberjung', making a comment at how it looks like a simple stick with razor sharp hacky sacks attached at either end by rope* ^^), and talking about things and people in general, along with the ever intriguing issue of the nature of an individual. It seems that whenever I have a chat with Kriz I learn a lot more about various people; she's incredibly observant and insightful :3
I dun remember Friday...oh wait, yes I do! Hare sensei, Adele and I met up at uni and got some dance practice done (I now know most of the Caramell Dansen original routine moves. YAY!). Afterwards, heading towards the bus loop, Sensei and I went to building 54 (...64? Gah, I dun be 'membering) and after he filled his bottle, Sensei offered to buy me a drink from the vending machine...was short of the correct change by about forty cents...and by happenstance when I got home that arvo I located 45 cents in my jeans pocket...>.< I hate it when that kind of thing happens! Oh well hehe.
Saturday night, I went with my parents and brother to visit some family friends in Cranbourne...I only went because I am lazy about getting dinner for myself, and I also wanted to see the Dark Knight (we decided afterwards that a new category of award should come into existence "Best Antagonist"...Heath was pretty damn good. You just can't hate a villain as well portrayed as that!). I happen to hate going to that house...they have a disgusting Boxer and a right little bitch of a Jack Russell (sp?) too (Normally okay breeds, but both have the run of the house and have always been flea-ridden...I always feel the need to shower after leaving that place, and wouldn't you know how un-itchy I feel after that relaxing, running water?). You may have just noticed I speak of the latter with marked distaste. This is because the friends we visited have recently acquired a fluffy black kitten (that doesn't scratch me as much as other neko-chans like to...including the one named after me xD. This cute little kitty happens to actually like being next to me hehe) that kept getting stepped on or attacked/harassed by the maniacal Jack Russell, and one of its owners is hardly any better...Thankfully I know that the other one is looking out for the kitten, because whenever she can reach the black ball of fur she whisks it away to safety ^_^.
And today...'today' being yesterday/Sunday... I pretty much did jack all. Pop some lazy gaming, reading, posting, and movie watching into a blender, stick it on the highest speed (the unsafe one xP) and drink the juices and that's pretty much it really... Tomorrow/Monday I plan to read some of the Volsunga Saga (translated o'course. I haven't learned much Icelandic, and certainly not enough to comprehend an entire literary piece) and watch several Strawberry Panic episodes, the latter because I have come to believe that by paying attention to Yaoi, I have accidentally excluded Yuri, and should at least give it a chance... We'll see how that goes, eh?
:O It took me half an hour to write that...kinda disappointed, but at least my eyes are now about one millimetre more closed *crosses fingers and wishes for luck* Night people!
Thursday, January 1, 2009
O.o
So, according to chronological records, and all the fireworks that occurred, we are now in the year 2009...
Aside from not being a fan of fireworks (apparently I am about the only one >.>, I don't think I've ever felt New Year's Eve to be all that spiffy a celebration or holiday. Okay, so a new year has begun, but does that actually mean anything has changed other than the time? It's as though we believe a change happens after that fateful and loud countdown, giving new chances and opportunities, fresh starts and shedding of mistakes. However, is that not simply a cognitive desire for the things to change for the better that is magnified? As far as I can tell, there isn't anything actually special or extraordinary that eventuates at the start of a new year...it's not like fairies go flitting about spreading magical dust, eh?
As you've most likely surmised by now, I have:
1) never thought much of New Year's resolutions, thinking that the majority of them fail or are forgotten anyway, and if we want to improve our lives, we shouldn't wait until the start of a new year to acquire the initiative (is it merely time keeping? Having a resolution means you gotta complete/achieve it by the next year, so it does give a deadline at least...)
2) never had any significant memories of New Year's Eve. As of the last decade or so, I think it has always been spent here at home, with a family friend (whom I don't particularly like) and his family over... I s'pose looking back on that sentence I must sound deprived or something. Oh well *shrugs*
Meh, the New Year has begun, so I might as well pop the talk of it out of sight and mind. I have two more things to briefly mention in this post, and then I can go to bed ^^,
The first is that I finally did something about the results of the poll. Alas, unlike other sites (Gaia being the first one sticking to mind), I can't customise the page layout anywhere near as much as I'd like, and so I promise to change the panda pic in the title occasionally xD
The second thing is that yes, I am completely aware that the fanfic is taking far too long to write...I will try to spend more time on it so it gets finished sooner rather than never ^_^ For the limited few of you who know a teeny bit about it, the second Kakashi has just entered the scene x3
Mata ne minna!
Aside from not being a fan of fireworks (apparently I am about the only one >.>, I don't think I've ever felt New Year's Eve to be all that spiffy a celebration or holiday. Okay, so a new year has begun, but does that actually mean anything has changed other than the time? It's as though we believe a change happens after that fateful and loud countdown, giving new chances and opportunities, fresh starts and shedding of mistakes. However, is that not simply a cognitive desire for the things to change for the better that is magnified? As far as I can tell, there isn't anything actually special or extraordinary that eventuates at the start of a new year...it's not like fairies go flitting about spreading magical dust, eh?
As you've most likely surmised by now, I have:
1) never thought much of New Year's resolutions, thinking that the majority of them fail or are forgotten anyway, and if we want to improve our lives, we shouldn't wait until the start of a new year to acquire the initiative (is it merely time keeping? Having a resolution means you gotta complete/achieve it by the next year, so it does give a deadline at least...)
2) never had any significant memories of New Year's Eve. As of the last decade or so, I think it has always been spent here at home, with a family friend (whom I don't particularly like) and his family over... I s'pose looking back on that sentence I must sound deprived or something. Oh well *shrugs*
Meh, the New Year has begun, so I might as well pop the talk of it out of sight and mind. I have two more things to briefly mention in this post, and then I can go to bed ^^,
The first is that I finally did something about the results of the poll. Alas, unlike other sites (Gaia being the first one sticking to mind), I can't customise the page layout anywhere near as much as I'd like, and so I promise to change the panda pic in the title occasionally xD
The second thing is that yes, I am completely aware that the fanfic is taking far too long to write...I will try to spend more time on it so it gets finished sooner rather than never ^_^ For the limited few of you who know a teeny bit about it, the second Kakashi has just entered the scene x3
Mata ne minna!
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