Tuesday, December 30, 2008

Waaaaa!

(Let me begin by apologising profusely for my lack of characters, due to me not being on the only pc in the house with Japanese IME. It has been too long since I wrote more than a phrase in Japanese, so wish me luck, ne?)

Minna, ogenki desu ka? Komentto wo kaite itadakemasen ka? Doumo ^_^.
Kyou watashi wa nandemo wo shimashita! "Masaka!" "Mou ichido hanashite kudasai..." "Masaka!" "-_-;; Hontou desu yo!" "WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"

Juu ni ji han ni GOLD LEAF de tomodachi to atte, YUM CHA wo tabete, BOX HILL e ikimashita! GOLD LEAF no tabemono wa oishikute takakatta desu ne... Demo, yokatta yo =D Sonoato, Rezuri chan ga onaji janai daigaku e iku node, watashitachi wa purikura e ikimashita. Zannen desu ga, purikura wa BOX HILL no naka ni arimasen! T>T Soshite daremo wa anime no maachandaisu wo mimashita. Watashi wa WALL SCROLL wo kaimashita >.> Doushite desu ka? Hatake Kakashi san wa WALL SCROLL no hidari ga imasu ^^, DAISUKI! *Drools*
WALL SCROLL de kau mise no naka ni Kakashi figuriin ga arimashita...Ano figuriin wa sugokute hansamude tanoshikatta desu yo!!!!!!!!!!! Chotto chisakatta mo... >.< Kaimasen deshita... *cries in anguish*

Sonoato minna wa BREAD TOP e itta ga, CHOCOLATE CORNETTOS ga arimasen deshita! Warukatta desu yo! (It's a pity coz I was going to buy everyone one T>T) Keredemo ICHIPAN (zomg ICHIPAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) no mise wo mite, yorokobimashita ne. Tari chan to Oriva kun to atte, tomidachi to hanashite, uchi e kaerimashita.

Kayoubi wa totemo tanoshikatta desu ne ^_^ Minna, arigatou!

Saturday, December 27, 2008

A blog posted predominantly to keep Kriz from telling me to post

Eh, the title says it all. Christmas Eve was pretty boring (other than watching my Vicar of Dibley DVD: "A holy wholly happy ending"), and there isn't much to comment about in relation to Thursday either; some relatives came by for lunch, got some re-acquainting done, and digested much sugar. Yesterday, Boxing Day, I spent half the day working on the yaoi fanfic (I can't believe how long this is bloody taking me...and further delays are expected. Read on to know why) and the other half eating leftovers and watching Kung Fu Panda...
And today I went to Knox with siblings and purchased my green iPhe nano, whilst my sister bought Guitar Hero World Tour (guitar, microphone, and the drums, the latter being my favourite). Turns out that of us three, I am the only partially competent singer (and even then, we had the microphone set to Easy xP) so it seems I may be stuck shrieking when the three of us play...thankfully my bro and I can share the two actual instruments when she's at work rofl.

No big thoughts to enter my mind,no epiphanies or the like, and so this blog can remain short but finished ^_^

Monday, December 22, 2008

Thematic post: Friends

Wow, well done, Krizchan...along with bringing me close to tears as I read your latest blog and responded, you also made me think some on my own friendships...I feel it needs to be written down now, so that I can get my head straight. Especially seeing as I can only ever remember a handful of things (when concentrating >.>) that occurred more than about a year back, and even less if it involved my life before high school...there's a good reason for that in some cases...and even then, I find that most events and interactions involve mistakes I have made, humiliations I have submitted myself to. Always things I regret. Whenever I think of that word, I always picture how older, wiser people in books and movies generally say "I would do it all over again" or something similar..."No regrets."

I however have a hell of a lot of regrets. Things as mind-numbing as actively evading my best friend, the only person in this life (including siblings) that I have ever honestly considered my brother...I still can't bring myself to admit that act verbally, and especially not to his face. Why? There was no reason worth it, and it went on for a good few months, despite going to school together everyday, in the very same class no less. The predominant reason I can't vocalise my eternal grief at such a...betrayal, yes, I certainly feel it was that, lies in that I cannot and am determined never to forgive myself for such an act. In the circumstances, Laur possibly didn't know what I was doing, but looking back, it seems almost impossible for that to have been the case. How can you ask forgiveness from someone who understands your personality, your thoughts..practically you in your entirety...for running away from them almost as though it were a harmless game? What gives you the belief you have the right to do so? No, eternal damnation (not the religious kind. Hooray for atheism! :P) is all that enters my mind when the memory brushes my consciousness, particularly when I have always held loyalty to be such a virtue among close friends...any form of betrayal should be unthinkable...

Come to think of it, I have never really had all that good a history concerning friends. I get attached pretty easily, partially because I have generally been pretty anti-social (those of you who have only known me a short while will soon realise that I actually try to avoid going to parties...) and always lived in a largish house with only technology to keep me company (one siblings having always played with the other, and the younger one only communicating with me for a multiplayer game or to grate my nerves every five minutes with "Whatcha doin'?" before flitting away, retreating from my glare) in an estate on one side of a major road where no friends lived (funnily enough, they all inhabited places near each other on the other side of the road, leaving me out >.>). The first friend I can think of was a girl named Sarah from Playgroup through Kinder. All I can remember is her blonde hair and honey sandwiches...shows how much she must've meant to me, ne? Sam, the next door neighbour...the days we spent talking to each other over the fence. At that time in our lives, he was quite gifted with relation to peer pressuring (that, or I simply lacked mental resistance...which I firmly believe I only developed when I was about eleven...) and all I can remember of him these days is two things: he introduced me to the next two people in the cycle of my friends, and something that shall always remain unspoken, no matter how much torture I undergo (sometimes things just need to be suppressed with determination, because the natural repression fails). the next two friends? Twins, a year older than me but coincidentally my classmates after the year I met them (I started school a year early btw). Brendan and Matthew would remain my friends, at the very least in the background, through a handful of further best friends, until around year 9. Those two and I had begun to drift apart since the beginning of high school, until finally we stopped speaking; they became two more acquaintances I would nod at when walking through the corridors at school.
Fallout with Sam (thankfully, in hindsight) not too long after befriending the twins, and at the start of Grade 2 we all moved to a school that just opened up nearer to our houses (well, arguably nearer to mine...I think my parents simply wanted me to stick with people we knew...) I met Laury. ^______________________________________________________________________________^
One of the few events in my life I can remember fairly clearly: me, in a classroom full of students I didn't know (that year I wasn't grouped with Sam nor the twins, just like the lonely year before that) during 'Free time'. Some kids nearby playing boardgames etc., and I naturally approached a cupboard and pulled out a game to play...I even remember it had a whole bunch of little plastic pine trees to be positioned on circles on the red board...and didn't know how to play. My reading at that time was pretty shocking, and I certainly wasn't confident enough to try and comprehend several slabs of rules. Took the game to the teacher, Mrs. Deayton, who claimed she was too busy to help me, so called Laurence over, who gladly obliged and began reading me the rules. I was mystified...in part because of my astonishment that another 2nd grader could make sense of those evil paragraphs, and partly due to his slight speech impediment (which has disappeared over the years ^_^), which, for a small ignorant boy like myself, was almost as unfathomable as the text he was reading...We became good friends following that... *smiles fondly, but then remembers the atrocity mentioned above and becomes sober once more*
And then, a year later was Todd. He and I ended up spending the better part of two years playing together (hehe, I remember a conversation I had with him immediately after discovering how humans procreate ^^,) and then he left for Queensland, which hurt a fair bit, actually. Occasionally I'll ponder the few trinkets we had given each other...the smiling bookmark, the amethyst stone...those little things handed over in the name of friendship and the wish not to be forgotten. Heh, at the very least he remembered me for a while, as evidenced by him returning for a visit a little over a year after leaving and making a remark at my expense in front of my class...
Throughout the rest of Primary school there were many people I became fairly good friends with. Well, actually, they were little more than acquaintances, however an ignorant and lonely little boy hardly knows the difference, ne?
The twins and Laury kept me pretty fair company during those next few years, until things changed slightly due to high school; Laur went to Box Hill, whilst Brendan, Matt and I went to Rowville. Brendan and I were the only ones from our Primary school in our class (a class which remained consistently the same until year 11, sadly) and thus became the class outcasts; me more so as the years went on, because I didn't attempt to befriend our classmates, but Brendan, like most people, tried to fit in, becoming part of the cool crowd.

Cue my next circle of friends: the tight-knit group of kids that were in Matt's class. The best thing he ever did was introduce me to these people, the several girls of that clique in particular, as they became my newest echelon of comrades: the possibly clinically insane yet always smiling, laughing or giggling Stacey, the ever agreeable (and if I may say so, which I may as this is my blog, manipulative) Sarah, and the highly intelligent, cheeky, witty Grace. These three, especially the latter, whom kept me close company throughout VCE and should be attending Monash but for some sad, unknown reason, deferred, motivated me to be brighter and more bubbly. Cheerful. They certainly influenced me greatly and I think I will always be thankful for them, even though I now only communicate with one of them...occasionally, for cheesecake, scones, and Vicar of Dibley marathons.

*Sigh* Recounting what I have thus far evokes some fond memories, but also opens old wounds and hurts, in some cases the former less than the latter. There are so many things that have been left out that have only just now resurfaced in my mind, such as the days spent floating in the twins' spa or lying in my sleeping bag, staring at the dark roof at night, whilst struggling with them over 'important' issues, such as career dreams and crushes, and trying to figure out exactly who we were -- our identities.
A lot of self-realisation and development occurs through friendships, which is a necessary and eventually beneficial outcome, but the conflicts and fallouts that likewise occur seem a hefty price to pay. In hindsight, it is easy to wonder if we really were as open as we believed we were at the time. Did I show my true self? Me as I am? Pobably the answer is no, and the mere thought of that makes me strive to attain better relationships than I've had before, where friends won't leave me, betray me (and desperately hope I will not betray them...at least I have a functioning mind now to steer me from such a hideous action), pressure me, insult me, and most importantly accept me. Ideals are so hard to achieve simply because they are that; ideals. The same with dreams and aspirations. As Kriz searches for that friendship she has always wanted, I will likewise journey to find someone I can open myself up to fully, concealing nothing of my nature. Ganbarimasu!

Sunday, December 21, 2008

Mandatory post

Yes, I apologise for the lack of updates. Reason? I dropped off the planet and into the world of Albion, five hundred years after the first game. I am still a bit miffed at the lack of longbows (never liked pistols, rifles, or crossbows), but at least the ever spiffy blunderbuss has kept me company, along with Pakkun the dog =D.

Seriously, I don't have anything to update about...I sit in front of the television, look at my phone to realise it is almost dinner time, and then eat before watching a movie...and when my bro is on the 360, I will substitute it with a PS 2 or 3...

I can at least state that the sidebar poll has declared that I will pandafy my blog. Meh, I'll get around to it, just like going for my L's, which was intended to be done by New year's... >_>

Please, somebody make my life interesting (preferably the good kind, but I'll take what I can get as long as I can finish my fanfic, play some more Fable, and keep all my body parts *shrugs* See? I ain't fussy)

Yes, this was posted as a result of Kriz's poking comment, and I can cruelly ask why she is posting online instead of studying hard at Japanese! Lolol joking Kriz chan!

Mata ne, minna

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

Slow day in Aus...

Yeah, having just read Khanat's blog I felt that the title of his too aptly described today that I needed to use a variant of it...

What was on the agenda for today then? Oh, that's right, practising Japanese with Kriz at uni...
What actually happened today? Heh...well, Kriz cancelled, because she was gonna go house hunting instead (btw Kriz, we ARE studying Thursday, whether you like it or not :P). This conveniently left me to write all day. Yes, that's right, whatever is left to be mentioned in today's blog will basically consist of the yaoi fanfic I am working on (this is your forgivable cue to stop reading this particular blog...although I still expect you few readers to tune in tomorrow! :P).

As of late, I'm finding that inspiration is coming in small erratic bursts; a pain in the arse if you ask me. For example, I spent all of today trying to write, and I think I may have managed maybe two paragraphs in between MSN convos with Mokuani Dantai leaders...thankfully I have found that I tend to catch up a fair bit in the couple of hours around midnight. Little strange, and yet I s'pose also rather normal, seeing as the subject matter of the fanfic in question does relate fairly well to night time (Iruka and Kakashi aren't exactly breaking from the norm in this regard fufufu).
The last 48 hours have dealt with what I have been referring to as the 'GOOD' bit, which still has only gone as far as the pair stripping down to their boxers >.> The challenging part (well, other than the fact that this is my first time writing yaoi, and I am attempting to make it somewhat tasteful) is that this GOOD part is set throughout the city (thanks Kriz for nudging me to do that, btw =D). Hehe, there's only so many alleys you can have fun in, so getting creative is a must; luckily I have the ideas, but just need to find a way to force myself to hurry up and get the writing DONE!

Ack. Well, at least I haven't irreparably lost confidence just yet, especially as I have been asked by a couple of people to let them read the fanfic when it's done. That's reassuring, but also, to be honest, generates a little pressure...oh, and so ya know, I will most likely be popping it on fanfiction.net, but will only give the link to the people who ask for it...so if you are at least slightly intrigued by Phe's eventual creation, don't be shy...

Monday, December 15, 2008

Friends in 'kneed'

Today, after waking up, ignoring the rules of our time-space continuum by concluding that 10 AM comes right after 1 AM, meaning I have been asleep for only about five minutes, and then watching Northern Exposure (
like every weekday...thank the pure and fuzzies for pay tv=D), I dropped by a friend's place by way of the local IGA. I had asked her prior to coming over what chocolate and ice cream she liked, and whilst pleased with the "Magnums or anything with chocolate" response for the latter question, I was incredibly disappointed in her as a human being and began to question our friendship when she said "As long as it isn't exotic, any chocolate is good."

I mean, wtf? How can you not make any distinction between say, Lindt and Cadbury's? Disgraceful! If she hadn't just had knee surgery, I wouldn't have been able to bring myself to visit, such was my shock and/or horror at her comment! Her response regarding ice cream may just have been her saving grace, actually :P
Looking at the aisle consisting on one side wholly of chocolate (not the shelves themselves of course, because then that would be free game and their furniture would get eaten by lowly scum such as myself...); perhaps IGA's greatest attribute...I decided to put my friend's opinion to the test and selected a couple of blocks of...*shudder*...Cadbury's (sure, it's edible, but when you are in the proximity of Lindt or other fine Belgian products, you are a mortal sinner if you purchase only the former), and I was surprised to note the existence of Cadbury's dessert chocolate bar flavours...lemon cheesecake DID sound tempting, although the only other 'dessert' bar on offer was Boysenberry cheesecake, which I must say I have never tried in non-chocolate form before (anyone else wondering where the crowd favourite strawberry cheesecake or even chocolate bavarian was hiding? How could they be omitted? Ahh, but I digress from my pointless narration...). Perhaps for a reason, too. Ever noticed how boysenberry is the retard half cousin of the berry family? Well, Cadbury's hasn't lol.

Raise your hand (and by raise your hand I mean 'comment in an on-topic manner') if you expected me to arrive at my friend's house to see Lindt chocolate boxes sitting happily on the coffee table, making my above rant moot? Turns out she does have taste =D I was more pleased than Lady Bracknell with a platter of cucumber sandwiches available for ready money...


Well, to make a leap away from the apparently touchy subject of chocolate, may I make a comment as to how much fun Guitar Hero World Tour is? Played the drums today, and it must be made globally known that Phe thoroughly luffled tapping (okay...whacking) away to Hotel California and Band on the Run. WIN! It being my first time, I found the first two difficulties..not...difficult...but the third, which may or may not have been 'Medium' (:3) challenged me whilst providing incredible amusement (I found it frequently hilarious when I occasionally realised I was playing to the beat about two bars ahead of schedule): my scores varied between 83 and 98% ^w^ which is an achievement for Phe. Those who have played Guitar Hero and its clones (that are still oh so fun) with Phe would definitely be able to comprehend that this is indeed a major accomplishment.
Fable 2 was on the agenda following our rocking on the lounge room stage, and having only played it for the first time today, I eagerly anticipate the next time I visit EB, coz I plan to buy it asap! Spell/Will system improved since the prequel, graphics also (naturally), and hooray for the options and combat system! It kinda reminded me a bit of Hunter: Redeemer more because of the whole "No bows, only a handful of crossbows and many flintlocks and the ever awesome blunderbuss", which may or may not be a good thing...despite being an archery romantic (it goes with the elf fetish quite cosily) I will not make judgement on that, and leave it to others to abuse or praise, as I like the rest of the game too much to notice for long periods of time.

And now until the hours of the early morn, Phe will be focusing yet again on that yaoi he is supposed to be writing...good/bad/some news: location on the 'GOOD' bit has been decided for me, and assuming you are smart enough to understand what I mean by that (read: alive) then you may or may not be interested to note that it is somehow going to be throughout an entire city at night, despite the fact that the city isn't exactly abandoned...xP I look forward to struggling with that part!

Wish me luck...I sure as hell am...and I'll return tomorrow to note whether success occurred at the bi-weekly Japanese study session...doubt it, myself...>.>



Sunday, December 14, 2008

Jaa...

Yeah, may I warn any and all (hello, you 1/2 a person you who will be my only reader! *waves furiously and asks for an autograph*) readers that there will be splatterings of Japanese embedded within my blogs, and whilst that is naturally fantastic, because EVERYbody loves and completely understands Japanese (surely?), I may get on your nerves (like I am getting on my own) for the lack of characters used. You see, I spend most of my net time on my little pathetic laptop, which lacks a Japanese IME, so romaji shall unfortunately feature aplenty...

Also, unless someone actually hates my decision enough to request a change, all text I post shall be in green. Let the constitution be amended to acknowledge it!



So, onto the actual blog...
3.
2.
1.
ACTION!

What has the anti-social Phe been up to lately? I have been doing a handful of things repeatedly (posting on a roleplaying site I am partially addicted to, stuffing my face with sugary foods, watching pay tv, playing old and slightly boring video games due to the inexcusable lack of a competent pewter), but of late a few other activities have taken up my time...
Every Tuesday and Thursday throughout the holidays, Kriz and I have been trying to meet at uni to practise Japanese together (maintain my low level, and boost hers, particularly her kanji). If I am honest, which I will strive to always be on this blog, we aren't achieving anything yet (I swear we will soon! *crosses place on torso where his heart should be*). This is partly because we probably aren't motivated enough yet --we haven't been able to focus solely on it, and one or two things tend to distract us fairly easily...it's my year 10 through 12 Literature classes all over again =3-- and also because we spend a good deal of the time we are at uni chatting about various topics. That I tend to leave my house a little after 10:30 to get to uni by 12, usually finding Kriz to have woken up about 1/2 to 1 hour after I get to uni probably also influences the time we have to practise, especially seeing as I try to leave by 4:30, so it means time does get wasted a little...>.>

Also, this past weekend (for a lazy person such as myself, this weekend I refer to began Thursday night {sidenote...Thursday nights are my leasst favourite time of the week now, because we have no more roleplaying for the year [nup, nothing to add in this message; simply wanting to use the other form of brackets ^_^]}) I have held a mini movie-view-athon for myself, featuring movies that remind me of Christmas. I believe the Die Hard films are being played on non-pay tv right now, so I didn't include them. Nay, instead I watched Love Actually (chrissy film with 3 lobsters and King spiderman present at the birth of jesus, and the respect-demanding Emma Thompson), While You Were Sleeping (probably the best chick flick to exit the 1990s), and The Sound of Music (no, you aren't insane. There is indeed no Christmas motif about this movie at all, UNLESS you take into account that for the past several years, Fox Classics seems to always play this movie at least once a day on the week around Christmas day...but isn't this year). Oh, btw, a note to all females: Most/Many guys do in fact enjoy Chick flicks...it's just they think it is unmanly to admit it...or something like that. By no means think this as gibberish purely because I am in no way very masculine... -_-;;
The movies kept me company for a few nights, but during the day, I have during the past two or three weeks been reading...Iruka x Kakashi fanfic...yes, I know, I am a disgrace, and what is worse is that most of it was horribly bad fanfic, yet I read it anyway... I happened to have been stupid enough to complain to a friend of mine about it, and he responded aptly by daring me to write one of my own...please, tell me, dear, valued reader(s..as if the plural could ever possibly be needed :P) have you ever tried to write yaoi fanfic whilst keeping it tasteful? This is taking so long to write purely because of that obstacle...that and I keep editing previous parts, which means I need to go through and correct later parts based on the former earlier bits...*sigh*

Bet ya don't envy my life, ne? Well, you understandably can't unless you are addicted to writing slash or something just as...eh...I believe 'similar' will do for a more positive adjective xD Please, oh please, come and keep Phe entertained :P

Hajimemashou ka?

Well, well, well. The inaugural post of a blog written by Phe of all things (intended use of that word, btw)...


Well, may we wish this blog luck; I intend, as most bloggers do when they sign up and create a blog, to post regularly or at the very least semi-regularly. Only time will tell if this newest mind child will survive, but hopefully this merely means I have to go out and make my life interesting enough to write about so that I always have inspiration, ne? Hey, I can always fantasise =D

It strikes me as funny...in the non-amusing manner, of course...that everyone is creating blogs like crazy these days; in this past week alone I have begun reading four friends' new blogs. Kinda makes me worry about this blog, seeing as I am not heading anywhere for Chrissy, and live a fairly sedentary lifestyle. :O Maybe that means I will ponder more metaphysical issues in my posts than recounting boring and irrelevant events???? Meh, we can only hope ^_^